Anger Issues

There’s more to dumpsters than just trash.  Sometimes they can be highly informative resources for discovering your neighbors secrets.  Think about it.  In every detective movie, what do they do to figure out about a person?  They dig through their trash.  Gross, yes, but informative.  But sometimes it’s even easier than that.  Sometimes your neighbors leave notes on the dumpster that reveal more about them than their trash ever could.  The following message was left on a dumpster in my special little community:

 “Who is the freaking stupid person who left their recyclables by the dumpster?  IDIOT!  They don’t go by the dumpster.  They go by the blue pole.  BLUE POLE.  Do you need a PICTURE of the blue pole?  Let me draw you a picture!  [insert what I can only assume is said “blue pole”-drawn in black]  Maybe now you’ll remember to put them in the right place.  STUPID IDIOT!”

When I read this note, I looked down at the trash in my hands.  Were there recyclables here?  Was I putting everything in the right place?  By the tone of this note, my very life was on the line if I got it wrong. 

Several days later, another note was posted to the mail boxes.  A photocopy of a smaller note said, “Would you mind parking across the street?  Your truck takes up two spaces in front of my apartment.  Thanks!”  Under this copy, someone had written, “Never, EVER put your dirty hands on my car.  There will be trouble if I ever see you do this again.”

I didn’t think it had anything to do with me until I was bringing a pizza box to the garbage a few days later.  A man in a big blue truck across the street noticed me and yelled, “HEY.  You don’t have recyclables in there, do you?”  All I had was a box, as he could plainly see.  “No,” I whispered, my voice shaking.  “Good,” he said, glaring as I hesitantly put my box in the bin, and practically ran back to my apartment.

Should I be worried?

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~ by Amy on February 22, 2007.

2 Responses to “Anger Issues”

  1. You should write him a note:

    Who is the freaking stupid person who asked me about my recyclables when I was heading to the dumpster? IDIOT! You were in a blue truck. BLUE TRUCK. Do you need a PICTURE of your blue truck? Let me draw you a picture! [Insert here a picture of a truck, of course drawn with a black pen]. Maybe now you’ll remember never to talk to me. STUPID IDIOT!

    That’ll teach him. If nothing else, big, strong Ryan can protect you.

  2. Those guys should pay a visit to http://www.AngerDumpster.com

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