I do what I can.

It’s October, do you feel it?  Even if I weren’t looking at my calendar at this very moment and seeing “October”, I would feel it.  Even apart from the weather, and the earlier fading skies, I think I would know.  Apart from the colorful leaves falling from the tress and the sound they make as the wind rushes them along the pavement, apart from the cool air and the smells of wood-burning fireplaces, apart from sitting in my warm home, clad in snuggly pajamas, sipping hot cocoa and reading, while the light dwindles outside, I would still know.  Though all these wonderful things make up the month that is October, there is more to it than that.  Can’t you feel it?  When I walk outside and realize what month it is, I recognize a warmth and a humility growing in me.  It isn’t joy or happiness, but neither is it depression or sorrow.  There is only one possible explanation.  It’s magic.

 

Now I know some of you recoiled at the word.  “Oh no,” you thought.  “Is this more of her Harry Potter nonsense?”  Most certainly it is not.  It is my love for the Season and I am telling you, that through my many years of experiencing this powerful emotion that only occurs at this time of year, “magic” is the only word I have come across that adequately describes it. 

 

From the colorful leaves falling from the tress and the sound they make as the wind rushes them along the pavement, from the cool air and the smells of wood-burning fireplaces, from sitting in my warm home, clad in snuggly pajamas, sipping hot cocoa and reading, while the light dwindles outside, there’s magic in the air this time of year. 

 

It’s a time that causes people to dive into their homes, close their doors and turn on the heat.  Yet by no means can we stay inside.  There are holidays to prepare for, families to see, and presents to be bought.  But isn’t that the best part?  We come out of our hibernation, all of us bundled up so tightly it no longer matters how we look.  We’re all buying presents, shopping for turkeys, enjoying decorations, singing holiday songs; the holidays bring people together.  In doing so, however, there is sadness, remembering those who have passed, remembering loved ones who cannot be there with us.  It is a time when emotions are raw and exposed.  There is great joy, but there also is grief magnified. 

 

All these emotions pass through me, causing a deep introspection as I pass into the cool air.  For many years, I have felt this glee and anticipation rising in me when the months turned cold and I have long wondered why.  Is it because I will no longer have to deal with the sweat filled months of summer?  Is it because I am a night person and have more energy when it turns dark?  I eventually discovered the only thing that makes sense.  It is in anticipation of the Holiday.  Something in me stirs that I only feel once a year.  Something that tells me this Season means something.  This is real and I should pay attention.  The chill in the air, the holiday decorations, the shoppers filling parking lots and malls – it all reminds me that we are somehow in this together, we are all doing the same things and put here for the same purpose.  This realization brings a sense of urgency and humility in my life.  “There’s not much I can do,” I think.  He’s not calling you to change the world, is the answer. 

 

It’s almost November and I feel it even more.  There’s magic in the air.  And I do what I can.

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~ by Amy on October 27, 2006.

5 Responses to “I do what I can.”

  1. You write so beautifully! I loved coming home from the heat of Sri Lanka to the cool fall here in VA with the colorful trees. The trees in New England must be even more beautiful. Love you!
    Jessi

  2. There are things I like about each season but fall is my favorite! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and beautiful description of it. God has truly gifted you with the ability to communicate thru the written word Amy. I really appreciate the time you take out of your schedule to share on your blog site.

    Hope things went well with your conference.

    Love you, Mom (Pam)

  3. […] with leaves on the ground and they rustled in the wind.  I absolutely love this time of year.  October is by far my favorite month.  I just wish it would be even cooler so I could wrap myself in warm (and concealing) sweaters and […]

  4. […] What is your favorite season? Autumn, of course! 18. Cherries or Blueberries? That’s a dumb […]

  5. […] February, Audrey has never met October before, so today I took the opportunity to introduce her to my favorite month. We stood outside and I explained that whooshing sound was the drying leaves scattering in the […]

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