I could drown myself in it.

Chocolate, that is. 

Today is just such a blah day.  Not quite emotionless, however.  I don’t think I’ve ever been at that point.  There’s always an emotion, lurking in the corner, about to spring out and surprise me with a bout tears or delight.  (This is something Ryan does not understand.  Emotions can be controlled.  If it doesn’t make sense to feel this way, then I shouldn’t.  A must always follow B.  But he doesn’t understand that after B comes C, so if I jump from A to C, that’s OK in the logic of math.  Or even if I feel like freakin’ Z because of A, that’s OK too.  If you don’t follow, don’t worry.  I’m not sure if I’m making sense.  Read this in my other blog.)

I have felt like crying today, though.  My car practically broke down on me.  I’m so tired of working.  My head has been hurting.  A lot of what I’m feeling, however, I’m sure is because I feel like I’m floating instead of swimming.  I want to go somewhere, but I’m going no where.  I wrote to some of the wonderful women in my family: This week I’m down, but next week will probably be the greatest week of my life.  That’s what an emotional roller-coaster I’m always on…  Poor Ryan.


~ by Amy on August 2, 2006.

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